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06/09/2008: "How pluralism replaced courtship with instant seduction"

During the first interval I decided to take a break on one of the benches at the back. As I sat there, contemplating how I should be more selective in choosing what charities to support, a tall, handsome, black man strode up to me and, without saying a word, thrust a card into my lap; then he swiftly walked away. I picked up the card, which had all his details, and wondered what on earth I was meant to do with it. The card said he was a former West Indies international cricketer. Did he think I looked like the type who'd want lessons? I was bewildered.

I continued compering the gig, and then, in the next interval, he walked up to me and said: "Well, make sure you call me." He then grabbed my hand and turned it over. "Good, no wedding rings. Call me and then we can arrange for you to come to Kingston Town. You will love it there, and you will love me, too."

"You're a bit forward," I said.

"Yes, that's how it should be," he told me enthusiastically. "English men are useless. They beat around the bush and nothing gets done."

I thought: "You wait all year for one, then when it does come along, it's harassment gift-wrapped in seduction."

Of course, I didn't call him, and I certainly had no intention of eloping to Kingston Town with a former Windies international cricketer. I can't do things like that: my parents are still alive.

[ When males come in who act so fast - it destroys the cultural aspect of courtship in a society. Soon all the males have to compete against this new strategy. ]

http://www.newstatesman.com/comedy/2008/06/card-former-cricketer-type