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10/02/2008: "Ditch the "squids" - clear out the toxic relationships"

It may sound cold-blooded to say you must divest yourself of the relationships that give you consistent losses, but unless you do this, you'll soon run out of capital, and you'll have no connection energy left to invest in anybody. So, please, decide now to deliberately limit the time and attention you spend on "low-yield" relationships. Above all...

Get rid of squid - Squid is my word for people who seem to be missing their backbones but possess myriad sucking tentacles of emotional need. Like many invertebrates, squid appear limp and squishy - but once they get a grip on you, they're incredibly powerful. Masters at catalyzing guilt and obligation, they operate by squeezing pity from everyone they meet.

Getting a squid out of your life is never pretty. Tell them straightforwardly that you want them, yes them, to leave now, yes, now. This will be unpleasant. There will be lasting hurt feelings. Don't worry. Squid love hurt feelings. They hoard them, trading them in for pity points when they find another victim - er, friend. Let them go, their coffers bulging.

[ Ideally you'll never have a "squid" attatch themselves to you in the first place, recognising that they drag you down, but this is good advice. Worth reading. ]

http://edition.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/09/30/o.your.right.to.remain.silent/index.html